The mission was born from my own personal struggles and began when I was a 14-year old bright-eyed freshman at Junction City High School. After a series of mistakes during practice, my coach told me, “stop trying to be extraordinary, and just be ordinary.” It changed my life.
Something happens when you realize that the people you look up to and believe in, don’t believe in you. You begin to question yourself. A lack of self-trust is the root cause of low confidence and self-esteem, both of which cause unwellness.
Growing up, I didn't have an identity outside of basketball. My self-worth was tied to every performance. During my college career, I masked depression and anxiety by spending all my free time in the gym. When insomnia kept me up late, I watched film. When I felt worthless after a poor performance, I spent the night at the gym. On the outside, I appeared committed, passionate, and mentally tough–characteristics that are praised in athletes. But on the inside I was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of not being good enough, and ironically, scared of being extraordinary.
I used basketball to avoid those fears until they eventually caught up to me. What once was a source of joy, became a source of pain. I didn’t know how to manage expectations, fears, and disappointment. I know now that the pressure to perform and keep everything together while struggling on the inside is a recipe for unwellness.
It took many years and therapy to recover from the dark road I went down. Per Aspera comes from the Kansas state motto: “Ad Astra Per Aspera”. Latin for "to the stars through difficulty." I learned from my experiences and now teach those tools and lessons to athletes I train now.